OLD LEAGONIANS CRICKET CLUB

O.L.C.C. Tour to Ibiza.  Friday, 12 Sept. to Monday, 15 Sept. 2008 inc.

 

Report by Ed. E. Herter.

 

 

 

Pre-Tour….“It’s all in the planning.”

 

To celebrate the 5^th anniversary of OLCC, it was agreed earlier in the season that to mark this momentous occasion, the Club would go on its first ever end-of-season tour. Devon ? Cornwall ?...but no…in keeping with the traditions of this Club…Ibiza. Kenny had found a Cricketing Club in Ibiza and then passed to it to Northern…quote…”to get an adult to sort it out”.

 

Now some of you may be familiar with the cricket book “Penguins Stopped Play” by Harry Thompson. In memory to all of those Lads who have ever tried to organise a tour, I dedicate the following extract……

 

The simple question “Are you coming on tour ?” requires the answer to be translated as follows :

 

“I’m definitely coming on tour.” means “I might well come on tour. Then again, I might not. I’ll be letting you know the night before we’re due to leave.”

 

I’m 99.9% certain to come on tour.” means “I’m 0.1% certain to come on tour.”

 

“Fabulous. I’d love to come. Of course, I’ll need to clear it with the wife.” means “My wife won’t let me go on tour. She won’t even let me go to the pub.”

 

“I’ll definitely come if I can get the money together.” means “I’ll definitely come if you pay for my air ticket, my hotel, all my meals and unlimited free drinks.”

 

“I’m very interested . Put me down provisionally.” means “I wouldn’t come if the alternative was having my face chewed off by a swarm of locusts.”

 

Enough said.

 

In memory of the following 12 who actually made it. The Roll of Honour reads :

 

R. Bailey (Capt), N. Gouldsmith, P. Golding, J. Golding, E. Herter, D. Boissiere, G. Thomas, M. Smyth, A. Flint, D. England, R. Lowndes and M. Frewin.

 

 

 

“WHAT GOES ON TOUR STAYS ON TOUR”

 

 

Friday, 12 September 2008….“Let’s not go too mad given that we’ve got a long day ahead and a game tomorrow”.

 

Amazingly, everybody and kit arrived on time at Gatwick at 4.00am to check-in.

We were met at Ibiza Airport by our excellent hosts, Ibiza CC and escorted to our hotel. Having checked in, we were ready and on it by 10.30am. Having lost several fixtures this season to bad weather in the UK, it then started to rain. All was not lost as we were re-assured that this was a passing shower. As the sun then burst out, we left the hotel bar and proceeded to eat. I mention this mundane fact as it has relevance to a later episode.

 

After food, we stripped to our waists and decided to tear it up by a round of competitive crazy golf. Some chose not to play but to watch the antics in the cool of the shade and carry on drinking. Suffice to say that John “I’m not competitive” Golding won the round.

 

We then retired back to the hotel to carry on drinking by the poolside. This eventually resulted in a competitive swimming race (one length of the pool) between Northern and anybody who cared to challenge him. On several occasions, much to his dismay and chagrin, he was beaten…only to establish later by a double-bluff that all was not what it seemed. The phrase “sang like a canary” was used more than once.

 

Having gone back to our rooms to change into our casual but shit look, we returned to the hotel sports foyer to continue drinking and indulge in some more competitive sports i.e. pool and bar football, at which the Golding brothers once again triumphed (Trust me, there is a theme here).

 

Eventually, somebody had the bright idea that we should leave the hotel and maybe go into San Antonio. We did this by bus. On the bus, one OLCC member decided to throw up his ring (see earlier reference to food. Was it the uncooked raw eggs and bacon on the pizza crust or merely 40 degrees heat stroke plus several jars of lager ?) In helping to re-inforce Spanish stereotypes of Brits. abroad, the spew managed to hit one standing passenger on his back and the rest on the handle of his suitcase.

 

Upon arriving at the bus terminus and with said member suitably refreshed, we headed into the town centre. Earlier in the year, Northern had been to Ibiza and did some scouting. Found a delightful tapas bar, serving fine Spanish red wines, competitively priced in the old / authentic part of town. To cries of “I don’t eat foreign food”, 09 members departed to Burger King.

 

After food, we all met up in the area known as the West End. You get the picture…English themed bar called St. George’s, Scottish themed bar called Highlander etc etc. I don’t re-call the actual name of the pub we ended up in but suffice to say that it played a selection of anthems and indie tunes and we called it “Our Bar” by taking over the space and dominating the pool table i.e. When anybody challenged us to a game of pool and asked the polite question “What rules do you play ? ” the gruff response was “Our Rules”. The United Nations has a lot to learn from us. In between, we played that popular pub game of “swing the hanging light around and see if it can hit anybody on the head”.

 

One member, who sat outside, proceeded to fall asleep while another was getting the best price / deal per person to enter an establishment known as “Taboo.” The offer was two free pints of lager, several free shots and a bottle of bubbly per person and to watch fit young females writhe around poles. Irresistible I hear you say. We stayed in “Our Pub” paying 6 euros per pint.

 

We all made it home by taxi, very late and very bladdered. Ideal preparation for the big game ahead.

 

 

Saturday, 13 September 2008…Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack and quack.

 

Our ever reliable hosts picked us up from our hotel at the pre-arranged time to set off for the 35 over game at the San Jose stadium starting at 1.00pm. Perfect weather. Upon arrival, having made a pitch inspection of the astroturf surface, we hit the bar. Given the heat, it would have been rude not too. Bailo won the toss and we held our breath…40 degrees heat…what would he do ? Thankfully, we chose to bat first….and that was about as good as it got.

 

We started strongly, the Golding brothers opening and giving us a sound competitive foundation, with Paul top scoring with 37 runs. What followed was a shambles. 7 ducks and one score of zero not out. The only other player to score on the card was Disco, who hasn’t played cricket for approx. 02 years and only came on tour to drink and dance but had to play due to recent injuries to Bush and Mason. If you want the pain / detail of the scorecard, visit the Ibiza CC website on www.ibizacricketclub.net . In total we made 71 all out from 21 overs. In response, Ibiza CC easily reeled off 74 without loss from less than 09 overs. Ibiza CC won by 10 wickets. Not our finest sporting day. Man-of-the match for OLCC was Paul Golding.

 

To sooth our wounds and in the spirit of “I’ve had an absolute c*^t of a day” we occupied the bar and the jugs flowed. Ibiza CC were very magnanimous in victory. We couldn’t even find any excuses for that performance. Going back to the OLCC roots and given the time that was left, we offered them a game of football instead.

 

Upon our return to the hotel, we made the decision to “stay local” and that evening, frequent the Sgt. Peppers 2 Bar, as owned by Ian from Ibiza CC. The booze flowed, the DJ banged out some requests, the Barmaids were all very pretty, we actually spoke to other people and Northern and Disco attempted to dance. Once again, all was good with the world. This may have had something to do with several rounds of free shots for the whole team from our generous host.

 

In the wee small hours, several of us left Sgt. Peppers and visited some other establishments. I say several of us because we lost two members who went missing in action. One to a beached whale and one to a ladybird. I’m sure if questioned, they will re-count their own version of those events. Remember, what goes on tour…..

 

 

Sunday, 14 September 2008…. “Let’s take it easy given this is our last night”.

 

All combatants present and correct for the pick up to the same ground for the 20-20 game against Ibiza CC at 2.00pm. However, the much threatened appearance of Rich T didn’t materialise.

 

Same routine as the day before, except this time we lost the toss and Ibiza CC elected to bat. John Golding made history by becoming the first OLCC member on tour to take a wicket by clean bowling their batsman, followed by a wicket for Northern as a result of a tremendous catch from Taff and two wickets for Dan, both caught and bowled and at that point he was on a hat-trick. In the field, Dan also excelled with an excellent long throw and direct hit for a run out and young Tony displayed his throwing arm by hitting the stumps on three consecutive occasions when returning the ball. Overall we performed much better on the field. Ibiza CC finished with 227 for 05 from 20 overs. A daunting task lay in wait.

 

After the Saturday debacle, all I can say is that every player scored. Dan top scored with 29 and Hannibal hit his first ever competitive six. He got jugged for his on pitch celebration. Whether he should have even been there is a different matter given a highly dubious “not out” from Northern, at square leg umpire, officiating a run-out call. Disco once again impressed with 14 not out to re-inforce next season’s “Come back Disco” 2009 campaign. How Taff actually made it onto the pitch is a wonder of medical science given that he spent the entire afternoon spewing up his ring and lying down in the quiet of the changing room. We passed the elusive century mark and in reply, made 105 for 09 from 20 overs. We lost by 122 runs but relatively speaking, some honour had been restored. Man-of-the-match for OLCC was Dan England.

 

And so to the post-match speeches and presentations. The Ibiza CC Chairman, Mr. Peter Hankinson, made an excellent opening speech. At all times we were made to feel very welcome and both games were played in great spirit. Then both Capts. made speeches. First, Martin Makepeace, Capt. of Ibiza CC. Again, Martin re-inforced how pleased they were that we had made the effort to come, how much they had enjoyed both games and an invitation to come again. We were presented with a model of a Spanish Finca. Next up was Richard Bailey, Capt of OLCC. I’ve known Richard some years now and in public, his repertoire normally stretches to “Yeah, what ?” and on a good day, “Yeah, what do you want ?” so I was somewhat overwhelmed by his public speaking ability. An excellent speech which re-inforced our thanks to our friendly and accommodating hosts, how much we had enjoyed ourselves, the tremendous spirit in which the games were played and a promise that we’ll do better next time. Richard presented to Martin an OLCC Tour pennant to hang in their new Club house.

 

After a few more jugs at the Club bar, we returned to our hotel given that we were scheduled to leave the hotel at 11.30pm that evening. To wile away the remaining hours why not go down for a couple, back to Sgt. Peppers ? Excellent idea ! Several jars later, with minimal persuasion from the semi-clad blonde barmaid, two club members were partially naked as a result of taking part in a bungee-run contest and having to conduct forfeits. Was there any need for that crap “Aston Vanilla” joke though ?

 

Having returned to Ibiza Airport, we then shared stories of our tour with any random in the queue who would care to listen and have their photograph taken.

 

Man of the Tour as selected by the Captain was Mason Smyth who received an OLCC Tour pennant. A worthy winner given that he was injured (on crutches) but still came on tour and fully partook in all social activities.

 

 

Monday, 15 September 2008….“Home again…it was a long weekend.”

 

We all arrived back home safely at approx. 4.00am. I don’t think anybody went to work that day. From what I can gather, nobody did any meaningful work all week.

 

 

Post-Tour.

 

If you want to give this report some visual context, for both the on and off-field tour activities, I recommend that you contact Hannibal for copies of some excellent tour photographs. You can also view his handiwork on several tour videos posted to You Tube.  Just tap in OLCC and search.

 

The OLCC Badge and Motto are now proudly displayed alongside other touring teams insignia on the Ibiza CC website.

 

The following is an extract from a press report that was recently published in the “Ibiza Sun” newspaper….

 

Ibiza Cricket Week

 

Ibiza is proving to be a very desirable destination for cricket teams as Ibiza CC hosted 3 touring teams in one week playing 6 games in 9 days.

 

First up was a 35 over game against Old Leagonians CC from Epsom, Surrey who brought lots of spirit but precious little cricket to the ground. A strong Ibiza team soundly won both matches bowling out OLCC for just 71, Paul Golding top scored with 37 but had no back up with no fewer than 7 of his team mates ending up with ducks!  Andy Lawrence on debut was the pick of Ibiza’s fine bowling attack returning figures of 3 for 11 from his 4 overs. Adam Johnston and Brad van Bylefeld knocked off the runs in less than 8 overs for an Ibiza win by 10 wickets.

 

In the second match, this time over 20 overs, Ibiza batted first setting an imposing 227 with half centuries from Bob Short and Martin Cooper with George Burdon pitching in with a quick fire 30 from a dozen balls. OLCC’s reply was a creditable 105 all out with Dan England hitting a dogged 29 before being bowled by Bob Short’s wrong ‘un.

 

It seemed that Old Leagonians had saved their best performance for Sgt Peppers 2 !

 

To a man, each tour member had expressed what a top time they had had and I’m sure that occasionally, we will re-call the events from this tour with humour.

 

At a meeting of the OLCC Committee on Weds, 24 Sept. 2008, it was agreed in principle, that the Club should once again go on tour at the end of the 2009 season.

 

We now look forward to the 2009 season. There is much planning and preparation to be done.

______________________________________________________________